The Joker and the Thief in the night

I had the most fuct up dreams last night. I don't know if this was my dream while I was passed out on the couch, or if it was when I finally managed to get my ass to bed, as they have all blended in with each other. So, I was getting ready to hit my seat for a Pearl Jam concert. (yeah, yeah, shut it) I have to go pee, surprise surprise. (Now this HAS to be a dream, cause there would be no fucking way I'd EVER leave to go pee when I'm waiting for them to come on stage). So I enter some kind of warehousey, back-room kinda thing and it's completely empty. Oh, another strange thing - I'm in a wheelchair, weeeird - So I'm moving along trying to find the bathroom and who do I see sitting on his cell phone? Eddie Vedder. So I am smiling from ear to ear and I start waving at him like a freak, as though he's supposed to know who the hell I am. He waves back and motions for me to hang on a sec while he finishes his call. (He was probably talking to his wife, but I was important enough for him to end the call hehe) So we start chatting and I'm being sooooo cool and casual, I'm awesome. (I completely forget about having to pee, btw) He's getting all of his shit together to get on stage and I am all "Oh, don't carry all that shit yourself, let me help you, silly!" Then all of a sudden, I'm not in a wheelchair anymore. So he tosses me a guitar case and we're walking and shooting the shit like we're bff's. So I think at this point I called Steve to tell him, "uh yeah.. we're not coming to the show". (Steve is always my PJ concert buddy, no matter what) He's all, "We?" and I'm all, "Yeah, me and Eddie. We're going to grab a drink" (OMG - how fucking awesome would it be if this was for real?! I'm such a loser...) So anyway, we ended up in this weird elevator that sort of reminded me of my parking garage elevator, as it had the wicked brushed metal walls that I love. We get outside and it's a beautiful, sunny day and we were walking towards this house. We enter the house, and it felt like we were in a suburb of California. So we are having a drink and then all of a sudden, the dream shifts and I'm with my parents... now how's that for a shitty segue?

My Dad is in our house and we're discussing a new car he's going to buy. (This also HAS to be a dream, because we only had piece of shit cars growing up. My Dad drove the coolest fucking cars when he was younger, and as soon as he had a family, we got to ride around in a pimpin' Ford fucking Topaz) So we go to meet this man, who by any definition, is a mob boss. We are checking this sweeet, shiny new car out and his 3 sons are standing guard and staring through the back window. I'm opening up all of the little compartments, noticing a wicked make-up mirror (on the back of the passenger head-rest... don't ask, makes no sense to me either) and a built-in sewing kit (??!!). The 3 sons are totally staring me down. I was terrified and couldn't help but wonder what the fuck my Dad was doing buying a car from these guys. Then I see him swiping a mob version of a credit card machine with a sponge that looks like the ones they use when dusting for prints, and then I open my eyes and wake up.

WTF! Okay, okay - I know my head is messed up. My imagination gets the best of me on a good day, but jesus christ, what the hell does this dream mean?? Geez, I would have been happy if the Eddie Vedder dream had just kept on going!! The shitty thing is, any of the messed up dreams I've had have always been impossible to look up in dream books. I can't even imagine what the hell that one meant. The wheelchair bit is kinda bizarre. I'm surprised I didn't have some crazy porn dream, as I passed out watching this weird show (that I'm strangely hooked on, go figure) called Sin Cities. The host discovers and explores weird sexual sub-cultures around the world and let me tell you, last night's episode was weeeeeeird. Come to think of it, I'm happy that didn't enter my dreams last night. haha!

So yeah, if anyone could get inside my head and help me figure out my dreams, that would be awesome. Good fucking luck. :)