I do feel like I've forgotten to take my meds. It's fuct up how Placebo just rips my heart out in moments when I'm feeling like an emotional mess. Yet, I keep gravitating towards shit like that when I'm upset. Am I a glutton for punishment? I sometimes think I am. I don't enjoy being the victim, though. I truly don't. I'd rather just put up a wall than be known as a victim. But I'm a teary, emotional chick - go figure. I don't know if people look at me and think "victim" - I do feel as though they look at me and think "she's fucked", which really isn't any better. I also notice I use "..." a lot . Why? Is it annoying? I don't know. But I've been skimming through my old posts and have thought, "WTF, you use those damn things a lot" Is it because half the time I have no clue how to decipher what is going on in my head? Perhaps. I always know what's going on in my heart, though. I wear my heart on my sleeve and I think that's my problem. I know that life is so fucking short and I'm sick of being patient and doing what other people think the "right" thing to do is. I'm also sick of holding back and not being true to myself because it either threatens other people, or freaks them out. I'm feeling like I'm on a bit of a rollercoaster ride right now. I've always hated amusement parks. Fucking hell.
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